I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
