if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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