Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
