just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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