Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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