Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
