This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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