my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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