My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What did we do last night that was yellow?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize