She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
