I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
