Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
