we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
