The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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