he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
