She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
