turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
