i think i have herpe
just one?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
