This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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