Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
