Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
