I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
