I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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