Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
