Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
