omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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