I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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