Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize