I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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