May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
