As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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