Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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