I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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