"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
