what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
