On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
