awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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