I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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