can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
