About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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