I just made out with a guy for $7.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
