dude i'm inner monologue high
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
