and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
