I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
