She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize