Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
