I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
