new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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