Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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