Having a random hookup so left but love u
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
