wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
