i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
