He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
