from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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