If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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