Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
