Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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