Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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