the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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