After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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