don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
